Christmas shopping in a nutshell


All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey is currently #2 on Billboard’s Hot 100

Ah, the holidays… the time of the year where your wallet shrinks, your pant size goes up, and your seasonal depression is hidden behind the constant ringing of Christmas music in your ears. 

Nothing defines the holidays quite like the people around you shoving wish lists into your face knowing you’re a broke high school student. 

Yeah, I know, Christmas isn’t about gift giving, but let’s be honest. If you don’t get your family gifts, they’re going to throw a hissy fit. So, in the spirit of Christmas, you go out and buy at least one thing off of everyone’s wish list. 

Not only do you have to park miles away from the entrance to the mall, but you also have to tolerate Santa Baby blasting over the speakers. Why, as a society, are we still listening to a song about a woman hoping Santa Claus will be her sugar daddy in 2020? 

After searching for one specific toy for an hour, fighting off the people in your way, and waiting in a 30 minute line, you’re able to check off the first thing on your list. Only 15 more gifts to go!

You look at the only item on your brother’s list… a PS5. Yeah right, get real, pal. You decide to buy him a pocket knife that also has 17 other functions.

After hours of shopping and waiting in lines, you get to the last couple things on the list. Your cautious aunt wants an 8oz bottle of Germ-X and a package of toilet paper. Once again, get real, pal. You decide to buy her a 50% off candle from Bath and Body Works. 

You’re finally ready to leave. With 15 bags in your limp arms, you find the closest exit to you. It’s pitch black outside! 

You start to freak out wondering how much time you’ve spent in the mall. The sun was out when you arrived, how can it be dark already? You swear you’ve only been in there for a couple hours.

You check the time… it’s 5:30 p.m. Curse the person who decided Daylight Savings was a good idea. Merry freaking Christmas George Hudson… Thanks a lot!